Tuesday, February 22, 2005
f-\ so what if u make me emotional \-f
testing.. this pic is one of e grp photos, got somemore grp photos but with kev.. now still outside noh, my house de comps so lousy now.. met my frens, nearly got lost cos dont know they at where.. cos didnt know there got two lan shops, and i went one of them once nia.. then called them still dont know where, they sent one of them to find me, then went play comp then buy things, hope e shops nvr close but in e end close cos play til forget time, quite cheap noh play at e lan shop.. i felt ive regretted n unsure of letting go cos i felt ive gave u many things, in e end i dont understand, u dont love me liao ba.. u dont cared anymore, i gave up and my bros said u will come back, when eh.? will i still want to be with u, til forever.? i dont regret loving u (honestly even my past ones), but im really upset as there was no reason for me to let go actually, and i didnt get to know ur reason.. i was just selfish and at first cant forgive forget, slowly i forgave, but really i cant forget.. we dont understand each other even thou we've been together for so long, maybe cos of e holes in between.. i cant predict of what u were thinking anymore, and u accused me of things i will nvr do.. or we've changed, and we expected differently ba.. i did wrong things, still u are my one and only in e heart, cos im stubborn.. and i was selfish i thot i can tie u up and i wanted to be ur one and only.. i thot i didnt control u, cos everything u do i dont like i stayed quiet.. but actually forcing u to treat me as ur one n only was controlling, i didnt realise as i really wanted to be, im afraid of losing u and e ppl arnd u are scaring me, yes im paranoid n sensitive.. i wanted assurance n reassurance, but u nvr know what i wanted.. u liked frogs (first thing i noticed when i get to know u), mickey n gundam stuff.. honestly everytime i see those toys, i so tempted to buy u some.. that time i saw so many of those toys, so nice n cute, wanted to buy for u.. but i cant, so i spent e money and bought toys for myself n fren.. i know im not ur wife, so i shldnt actually.. i cant tie u up, and i still go out n didnt let u.. im actually rather sorry.. then u kept telling me to pour my unhappiness to u, i did, but maybe at e wrong time.. i poured all my unhappiness one shot, and u became afraid i think, or tired.. love someone, he will be far from u.? we've actually been thru so many things, ups and downs, fun tears laughter anger passion, yet now i felt numb and i think ive forgotten u already.. i will remember e days we had, so what if we nvr contact now or ever.. i swore at first we started out, i didnt know many things.. i even thot i dont love u once and even thot i hated u, actually i nvr stopped loving u and thinking about you, serious.. i kept being jealous, and u always think i look down on u n ppl, i really didnt, i jst dont like and cant stand some things.. now i think u will jst be one part of my life, which will be a past and gone.. lalal~ if ive found my half someday, i will honestly tell him everything ive done with my ex, one day, eventually.. and hope he will accept me, hahah.. typed this whole entry in tears, but no worries.. i think im back to my old self, which quite long ago realised ler.. =] i love me, but i dont obssess and am not selfish..
if i stop dreaming. 10:17 PM +
-=perfect day=-
i was fretting last night
lost out in the cold
couldnt see the light
then he opened up the door
i came in from the dark
fell into his arms
just in time
wow i know that ive
left the past behind
i let it go
you could tell me tonight
that maybe the world would end
that the sun wouldnt rise
and it was gonna rain again
just as long as hes in my arms
its gonna be a perfect day
theres a look in his eyes
that makes me feel all right
lights the perfect sky
that i couldnt see before
that he helped me to find
now that ive seen him shine
i know ill never be alone
cause now i know that i
have love i cant deny
wont let it go
you could tell me tonight
that maybe the world would end
that the sun wouldnt rise
and it was gonna rain again
just as long as hes in my arms
its gonna be a perfect day
its gonna be a perfect day
i think i lost you in another life
a part of me that ive left behind
i wont go on without you
and now i know that i
have put the past behind
i let it go
you could tell me tonight
that maybe the world would end
that the sun wouldnt rise
and it was gonna rain again
just as long as hes in my arms
its gonna be a perfect day
you could tell me tonight
that maybe the world would end
that the sun wouldnt rise
and it was gonna rain again
just as long as hes in my arms
its gonna be a perfect day
its gonna be a perfect day
