--bail me out, im just guilty for falling--

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

f~the beauty of life depends on how happy others could be because of you~f

since its midnight, yesterday..
i went to visit my mother's side ler..
as the day before was father's side..

had lunch at mac, the girl who served us wasnt good..
we ordered too much, then made her too messy ba..
then alot of stuffs didnt get, delayed all those..
my parents were quite unhappy uh..
anyway after that went bukit ho swee to bai nian..

visit my ah ma and ah gu, my aunt and cousin also there..
hah my cousin became so thin noh, and still as 'open'..
she said alot of funny stuffs lah, and still smoke.. -.=
then some of my cousins came, with nephews and nieces
quite fun de, then talk talk talk.. played sparks..

hmm, my ah gu had sold away that house.. like a pity uh
that house was where everybody grew up from birth..
that small house was where everybody had ups and downs..
thats where they stayed and grew up.. like landmark noh..
really too bad ah gu had to sell it, as he claimed to be broke..
everybody just say if he wants to do that, nobody can stop him..

so after that went to visit my dua yi.. lols took car there..
we had to squeeze in my cousin's car noh, so xin ku..
but the distant is quite near, so had to just ren yi xia..
reached there, did nothing much uh.. just sat there..
and ate and drank and ate and drank and talked..

after that my cousins and their kids came over to my place..
where we had kfc and lao bao yu, not lao yu sheng..
hahah, i like to eat those veges and such.. very nice uh..
then finished my dinner ler, went over to darling's place..
at first told him stress arh, dont want go bai nian..
hehh then i think its quite alright ba, so went bai nian..

hmm, then bai nian finish jiu bring lazy bum go out eat..
eat finish then slack around, played playground de slides.. =D
then awhile go home ler.. start to open my angbaos..
i usually like to keep all my angbaos under pillow..
til no more bai nian then open them up noh..
then put back under pillow as ya shui qian, whatever it is..

may this new year no more disasters, tragedy and sickness..
may this new year be allwell all year round..
ich bin schnappi, das kleine krokodil..
schni schna schnappi schnappi schnappi schnapp~

if i stop dreaming. 1:16 AM +

Monday, January 30, 2006

f~no matter what i will love you like i do, like i always do~f

Xing Nian Kuai Le, Gong Xi Gong Xi.!!
just reached home from friend house uh..
since its midnight already, so yesterday..
i woke up at 12noon+, then prepared to go bai nian..
wore my new clothings: white colour + brown skirt
and also the high cut shoes, which my papa didnt like..
lols, cos need to take some time taking off and wearing it..

anyway after having lunch at home, went to take cab..
wasnt very easy to get uh, and we headed to woodlands..
its kinda costly sia, 10+$ like that.. =s
then reached there ler, not many relatives reach either..
also some went overseas noh, then cannot make it..
so their children (my cousins) also not visiting.. -.=

its still so so, my bro couldnt really take the boredom thou..
hah, then i see my two nieces.. they have reach sec school..
hmm the way they present themselves.. ah lian-wannabes
lols but guess all teenagers are like that, will go thru the stage
hope they are like me, always guai guai.. =D

and alot of them left quite fast too, the shoes outside the door..
they are countable.. even by my two palms of fingers..
its quite sad uh, thou i dont interact with them much..
the feel and the atmosphere just lessen noh, isnt that fun ler..
but there are more kids, thats the good part.. lols esp babies
its very cute to just look and observe them..

so there is this 3year old nephew, cute looking marcus..
i like his cheeks, his teeth and his hyperness.. =D
hes very active, will dance along with the lion dance on tv..
then will keep playing with the door and jump in and out..
very adorable when he smiles, he has very nice teeth..

so then, he wanted to go playground.. his favourite is see-saw
but alot of people left, and nobody wanted to bring him down..
i see he so kelian, stood at the door pleading to his grandma..
then i offered to bring him down noh.. and my bro tagged along
lols i carried him arh, his grandma said dont spoil him..
i said nevermind lah, then carried him til i no strength..

waa, he happy happy just run off de.. too active arh..
he run very cute de, like skipping.. then very scared he fall
but heng he didnt fall arh, only once really scareded me..
he want to sit on some exercise stuff at the playground..
it look like some work out devise, bicycle-like de..
push the leg pad, handle will move in, seat also move up..

so my bro and i didnt know, we stepped on it quite hard..
then marcus flew.!! lols, really shocked the hell outta me
i straight away carried him away, and asked is he okay..
heng he still can show me his cute smile and laugh arh..
then told him cannot play that ler, for adult only..
brought him to play slides, since no see-saw uh..

quite cute de, played with him.. then papa came with sis
she also played the slide, then papa said very hot later sick
so had to bring marcus up ler, i know he sure sad noh..
but i kept telling him later if sick, more cannot play..
then i did some funny sounds, he also imitate.. hahah
after that sat awhile, then had dinner there.. then left ler

went home around 4+, like going to rain..
chatted with wl abit, so long never talk or see him ler
and 7+ going to visit wc's place noh..
in the end never rain uh, i walked there..
its kinda funny, i dont really know how to go there..
i only know how to walk there, but quite near also..
then walked to wrong block, lols all looked the same..

reached there, waa wc the man haven reach..
lucky got zs and yf noh, then watch tv.. mouse love cat
funny show, got andy lau neh.. ^^ the girl i also like
hmm, then alan reached ler.. i open door..
zs took key and unlock the lock.. then i sat down..
soon later, mh reached ler.. i open door again..
but funny, didnt take out the key from the lock..

waa, like so careless noh.. heng mh reach soon after
so then wc the man finally reached, he got angbao take
from my mama de.. kekek, then all complained..
hanrong and edward was with him also..
then hanrong sang afew of his composed songs..
nice lah, he got into the first audition of SuperBand..

hmm, then wc said he invited vincent also noh..
after that kh reached, then vincent reached..
hah everybody looked at me, but im normal lah..
its the past ler, we also got chat abit last night..
so then lawrence and some church peeps came
waa, the whole living room full noh.. no space left
really quite crowded and re nao arh, very nice..

hahah then everybody asked why never bring bf..
i said he go visit his relatives..
then they said next time bring darling along..
darling always dont want de noh.. =p
yea ba, almost everybody dont know de abit shy ba..

then hr let me see his SuperBand de audition noh..
not bad, sure very exciting able to perform that way
somemore so many people cheer all those..
he said got two more auditions i think..
hope he and his band can get into Fei Chang SuperBand..

after awhile thomas and idy came noh, no angbao =x
lols, then they brought their wedding photos album..
then hr and the church peeps left ler, then more space..
so they start to play some gambling games ba..
i siam aside noh, i dont gamble de.. im a good girl..
then see them play the computer..
slack til 11+ then went home ler noh..

good night all.. may all be happy and healthy..
and of course, WORLD PEACE..

if i stop dreaming. 1:28 AM +

Saturday, January 28, 2006

f~theres always that one person who will always have your heart~f

today is the Lunar New Year eve, not Lunar New Year yet..
anyway HappY LunaR NeW YeaR everybody.!!
had reunion dinner, everybody had to wear red shirt..
lols my mama said its to have good fortune..
so everybody were wearing new red shirts, and home pants..
and on this very day..

Happy One Monthsary, darling.. =] *hUgs
i just did that, and yea.. im still at Happyville..
im not sure if i could get out of there, haven try..
and im not sure why im still at Happyville, lols..

been lazy to blog uh.. tomorrow start to visit relatives ler..
yeah, kinda excited already..
new clothes, red packets, tibits, snacks, and more snacks.. =D
eat too much may fall sick too, do take care all..
may all be prosperous and have good luck and good fortune~

if i stop dreaming. 10:05 PM +

Sunday, January 08, 2006

f~never expect a lot in life, its the simple things that count~f

the day have been raining since then..
so cooling, i even thot why got aircon while sleeping..
oh ya, in the middle of the night i woke up..
=s i dreamt my papa died, then i cried..
i woke up i still teared abit, then went back to sleep..
hah yesterday watched two local films i rented..

so this is the local guy who made the two films..
a pretty creative guy, name: tzang merwyn tong

this 53mins film is a mixture of bizarre, school and adolescent.. it started with a boy named Wynn, he came to this new college called Faeryville.. he was expelled from his previous school as he fought with a bully who commented something nasty about his mother.. so he came to this new school, new environment, no friends yet; all strangers.. and came Faeke, he was the first guy who talked to him.. hes the type of crazy tragedic poetry guy, wore black and white from head to toe.. like those type of crazy sadist too, he talked like a poet.. so in this school, there was the Backside Boyz who girls screamed for, guys siamed for.. cos they also like to be big bullies, and they dont look very handsome lah.. only the head Ah Hock who is a malay, looks the best, the rest still so so or eee.. then they went to class, the lecturer talked so boring de.. and the Glamour Girls came in, the most pretty and popular girl among was Alicia who alot of guys fancied.. but shes abit "that dont impress me" "boring lah" on her face type of girl.. so anyway Faeke had a plan, he managed to gather Wynn, Lipp, Toilet and one more forget what name to join his outcast gang.. i like this part.. he started his poetic sayings, "wankers lamers losers, arent we all!" was his most famous.. choose your addiction, choose your poison.. actually the whole story is about being bullied or misfit, then they want to make sense out of their seemingly senseless world.. their first "plot" was Faeke got into trouble, and the Backside Boyz started to bash him up.. despite of all the pain, he still manage to laugh and smile.. so made Ah Hock very angry, and continued to bash him up real hard.. alot of peeps saw of course, then thats the first bad impression.. the principal came, then they just excused themselves by saying they were playing.. *shake head* too bad uh, the principal was Ah Hock's father.. then after that Wynn was eating his carrot cake alone, he was also admiring Alicia from another table of the Glamour Girls.. and the Backside Boyz came and sat with the Glamour Girls, they talked alot.. nothing interested Alicia, and most of their opinions were different from her.. she just sat there and listened.. so anyway then one of the Backside Boyz saw Wynn, and said hes with Faeke de, and hes staring at them.. they wanted to bash up Wynn, when suddenly Lipp came.. Lipp was kinda ah gua, he put make up and lip stick and wore a tube.. so he came running down the stairs, flew upon Ah Hock and kissed him on the lips *everyone stunned*.. he then said "i always wanted to do that" and grabbed Ah Hock's balls then ran.. all the peeps around of course stared, oww all the humilations for Ah Hock.. then he "ARGHH, get him.!" and the chase began.. Wynn had no choice, he followed behind.. they ran and ran, til Lipp reached a dead end.. then got bashed up, poor guy.. shortly later, the rest appeared as if demon summoners.. and started chanting, Faeke then cursed them.. the Backside Boyz of course got frightened and ran off.. then bad things really happened, their parents got into accidents.. everybody knew and they were frightened of Wynn and his friends.. only Alicia approached Wynn "why do you keep staring at me. when are you going to ask me out.?".. Wynn was speechless, just then the principal called to see him in his office.. oww wasted a chance.. Faeke had disappeared, hes a dangerous and a wanted man.. the principal wanted Wynn to tell him wheres Faeke, Wynn's mother kept sobbing.. he was rather furious when the principal mentioned about Wynn's past.. he just walked out, and Alicia was outside waiting.. they went to sit down to talk, but she wasnt what he expected.. Alicia started saying his group was so awesome, nobody ever stood up for the Backside Boyz.. Wynn was upset, nobody wanted to know about him, just him.. he bet nobody knew his name, he bet nobody cared.. he walked away, went to somewhere deserted he might belong.. the place where he found Faeke too, he started asking "whats so wrong with you.?".. but actually, Faeke had a past just like Wynn.. he was bullied, made fun of.. he just want to push back, but he didnt mean to push too hard.. Wynn finally understand, they are truly friends.. so they walked out, where they met face to face with the Backside Boyz again.. Ah Hock had a gun, then one of the Backside Boyz whose father was in accident wanted to kill Faeke.. Faeke didnt mean anything to happen, he just want the Backside Boyz to learn their lessons.. but they became sick and psychoed, they actually really believed they summoned demons.. and really, BANG Faeke got shot and died.. Wynn was very upset, he took the gun.. he hated everyone, his best friend is dead.. the principal came, "give me the gun".. Wynn said "you all look upon me now because i have a gun in my hand. when i dont have the gun, im nothing, NOTHING to any of you. i want to thank Faeke for giving me this day, thank you Faeke." BANG he shot himself in the head and died.. [the story has ended.. but life goes on]

this is another film, 45mins adult version of Little Red Riding Hood.. bloody, weird yet creative.. it started with this naive girl, and her mother asked her to visit grandmama.. she looks very cute, oww i like her big eyes.. anyway her name is Beth and so she was on her way to visit grandmama.. her mother told her not to speak to any strangers, as there are darkness lurking in the woods.. so she was on her way, walking skipping along the path.. then there was a stranger, he started to talk to her.. at first she didnt want to talk, then she didnt want to be unfriendly so she spoke up.. Uncle Charlie was nearby, he was accusing the stranger to be some pervert preying on innocent little things.. then Beth said dont worry they were just talking, and asked him to go away.. so the stranger then asked Beth where grandmama stayed, he gave her a lollipop and asked her to take another route as it wasnt safe.. so that guy went to find grandmama, and killed her.. he even took afew bites on her, then dragged her to somewhere.. blood everywhere, yucks.. he pulled down the curtains and took off his pants.. lite a cigarette and made himself cosy on the bed.. Beth finally reached, its funny she couldnt recognise voice de meh.. so anyway she went in, put down her stuffs and sat on the bed with "grandmama" and talked.. gave Beth afew puffs on the cigarette "what rough hands you have, grandmama" "to feel you better, my dear" "what big eyes you have, grandmama" "to see you better, my dear" "what big nose you have, grandmama" lols.. then she finally saw, she screamed and tried to run.. but he caught her, later Uncle Charlie came in (ps: he was peeping through the curtains all along, hes kinda slow when he start to bash in. was he enjoying watching part of the moment.? lols).. fought and fought, lots of blood.. Beth also saw her grandmama, dead.. she screamed and was terrified, she had no choice, she took grandmama's gun and tried to aim.. BANG shot Uncle Charlie dead, wth.. the guy was quite happy, he was about to leave.. just then, Beth took Uncle Charlie's grass mower and cut off both of his legs.. really very disgusting, then she stood there, got nervous and pee-d.. she took off her undies, and the guy's bird stood up.. she became curious, went over and sat herself up and down.. so then the pervert became paralyze, no legs.. poor thing, took care by Beth who became a nurse.. have to help him bath, but she kinda tortured him too.. [the fable of innocence lost]

if i stop dreaming. 3:12 PM +

Friday, January 06, 2006

f~you never see it coming, because you're blinded from the start~f

its friday, its the weekends~ woohoo
got to know my term tests results this week..
dfund2 - 30+/50 and 97/100 (lab)
ssmat - 30+/50 and 20/20 (quiz)
edeckt - 25/100 (pathetic.!!) and 70/100 (lab)
emaths2 - 99/100 (omg, just bcos i didnt show working)

lols, first time in my life get pathetic marks.. 1/4 looks nicer
really feel like giving up on the subject noh..
i seriously dont understand a single shyt about it, arghh..
so demoralising too, really more and more no interest..
the tutorial tcher and lecturer also dont click with me..
no feel to them arh, lols.. real jialat, i dont wish to repeat..

sometimes i cannot tahan people talking about dota liao eh..
my class lah, their brains have been OWNAGED by dota..
kept yakking and mentioning about dota whole day long..
whenever theres break, will consider for a dota break.. -.=
hah, then i everytime reject their games.. abit tired of it
think i didnt play dota for a week or so ler, teehee..

so anyway my darling sick sia.. =( so kelian..
went to visit him at his house and pei him just now..
his mama so good, cooked dinner.. then i bought cakes
kinda embarrassing uh, i didnt know i ran outta cash..
then i owed the cake shop auntie 60cents..

i kept insisiting on taking one of the cakes out..
but she told me keyed in ler, cannot erase ba..
then told me next time return to her when i have the time..
she even asked me if i have money to take transport..
such a nice lady noh, i was really bu hao yi si..

i can admit my mind is quite messy.. weird and uncertain
hmm, anyway i tired ler.. got a little cold too..
goodnight all.. darling take care, must get well soon arh~

if i stop dreaming. 11:45 PM +

Thursday, January 05, 2006

f~在我的世界没有的后悔我是绝对不会放弃往前追~f

用尽一生去寻找绝对
会不会太累
完美是个骗人的词
爱没有谁欠谁
爱没有对不对
爱有完整
爱也有破碎
何必太伤悲
答案永远没有绝对
你不必太完美
我不必太完美
人性的可爱就是不能完美

if i stop dreaming. 12:28 AM +

Monday, January 02, 2006

f~you melt my broken heart, gave my life a brand new start~f

on saturday [31st] was kev's birthday..
so in the afternoon actually wanted to meet 4pm..
then dragged abit, in the end around 5+ then meet..
so after i reached, fer, ron, yn, kh was there already..
awhile later, wx came.. then we went to buy drinks

went to see benson awhile, i gave him his present arh..
then gwy came noh.. after that we deciding where to go
benson then called that he come find us during his break..
hmm, after that les also came.. silly boy still slept so less

then we chatted at burgerKing awhile.. benson left ler
we headed to forkNspoon and had dinner..
after that we went to take 56 and headed to marinaSquare
went there didnt do much uh, lols window shop i guess
tuck came liao, also got discuss abit what to buy for kev..

in the end couldnt find the ideal one uh..
initially i wanted to buy a mini fan for him, hahah..
marinaSquare also not many ideal shops to buy present
so then, kev, zl, iz were meeting to go pasirRis arh..
then we had abit of discussion on where to go..
esplanade seems like a fine place to countdown
and see fireworks arh..

i kinda dread the crowd, so i dont really want to stay..
and kev is my good friend arh, kinda bad if dont go..
so then we took cabs down to pasirRis..
it was so expensive arh, kinda heart ached..
blahh, so reached there ler.. we went to find kev..
we walked down the beach quite awhile..
then walked back to fisherman'sVillage as they were there..

reached there liao, we walked back to downtownEast..
was kinda crazy, but its alright ba.. lols kev was the man
but the journey was freaking tired and the night was humid
so we reached downtownEast ler, forgot did what..
then had countdown, alot of people sprayed all kinds of shyt
and that was Happy New Year.!! and the whole place stinked

after that we went in to a big tent or something..
inside got a dj playing technos, and people dancing noh..
like clubbing arh, lols pretty awesome.. but poor darling
he had to carry the bag with some of their stuffs..
so i peiied him arh, then awhile later went out to take a sit

then after some time, they came out liao..
hmm forgot did what, then go celebrate kev's birthday noh
kinda funny arh, always play the same old trick..
but kev tio the worst i guess, lols.. darling also tio abit
then i lost him, sorry darling.. =( i wont lose you again

so after that went to the park, played some firecrackers..
also played some sparks and all that.. lotsa smoke, lols..
then played catching at the maze, kinda funny arh..
starting got caught, then darling said go out and hide..
he wanted to play cheat arh, hahah.. it also started to rain

then next round liao, we ran to the middle of the maze..
hahah almost all were there too, then like got catcher came
then all zhao, i didnt manage to zhao.. but tuck let me off
lols was quite surprised, then i went out i saw kh..
he oready became next round catcher ma, so quite safe..

after that game over ler, all went out.. then stopped
due to the rain ba.. then we all went to toilet wash up
whao my eyes were damm puffy and baggy, hah zz
then went to some shelter and rest abit..
awhile later they all left ler, then i rest with darling..
zl and ika also stayed at the shelter noh..

hahah, and i couldnt really sleep eh.. it was still raining
was kinda itchy, kinda wet, kinda hard also.. gave me aches
zl and ika left about 4+, 5+am to take bus..
darling and i stayed til morning noh, lols kinda crazy..
still couldnt really sleep arh, then saw the sky bright ler

went to wash up then went beach there..
the scenery was nice, only the water was dirty.. lols
then wanted to walk out de, in the end came to dead end
got stucked in a shelter for awhile as it started to rain
after that we managed to walk out, and took bus..
then reached the interchange, took 88 to tpy..

whao it was so freaking cold, i managed to sleep abit..
hahah then reached tpy interchange, still freaking tired
i couldnt even open my eyes liao, then darling hungry..
so he ate, while i drank barley.. i wasnt hungry noh..
after that went home bath then slept ler..
oww how i miss my warm bed.. =s

evening woke up, had dinner and iron my parents' clothes
finished liao, went to meet darling again..
lols he bluffed me out, say want eat.. in the end never eat
so went to walk and slack around, then went home ler..

ive promised i will follow you, i will never regret..

darling ah darling, must guai and study alright..
i will miss you, huggiess muackkies..

if i stop dreaming. 12:10 AM +